Suicidal Moments

My dad named me after a Greek king
Because he wanted me to be something special and unique

But instead

Like a Greek general

Having lost at battle

I stood in his
Kitchen
With a
Butcher
Knife to my belly

Against the countertop.

The reflection of my face in the blade
Morphed demonically

As the sound of his car engine
Pulling into the driveway

Snapped me out of myself

And back into to life.

Tavius Dyer, 12/18/10

Pharma is Sorcery

A wizards apprentice

I was
Recreating Fantasia's Technicolor spectacle

One neuron and receptor at a time

Synaptically backfiring like gun shots

Conducting a neural chemical symphony
Of water overflowing,
Bucketheads sloshing about
And broomsticks meant to clean the cob webs
Chopped
Splintered like shards
Multiplying as my thoughts grew legs and lungs

To walkabout shouting, demanding reality

However
They've always
Only
Been symbolic of nature and thus truth

Much like the television playing reruns of our lives

In our minds
Like infomercials
Selling ourselves
What we've already been sold.

Tavius Dyer, 12/18/10

I dance
In the traffic of my mind
On rainy nights
After
You enter the microcosm of the symbolic
Each text and instant message
Builds upon itself a traveler in my story
Erecting you statuesque
Chiseled sculpture of language in motion
An archetype
For intimate relations discussed but unknown

“All this grief and fantasy”

Purely imagination
Run away with itself
Not unlike cancer
Fueled by fairytales
Forgetting heat ache
And entering upon a new kind of fall season
Despite winter’s eminence
Spring is created
As days decrease
And cold grey becomes the outside world
A fire is kindled within
Embers stirred give rise to flame once again

This heart can not be extinguished
For Love is infinite in form
Though it functions much the same
From one person to the next

Despite,
Thankfully,

It’s constantly unique

Manifestations.

Tavius Dyer 12/13/10